Parenting Fail

I was intending to write an update today about how our electronic detox went.  Instead I felt compelled to write a quick blog about one of my biggest parenting blunders.  Maybe it will help others realize we are all in this messy parenting world together.  
Honestly I don't even know what went wrong.  I think I literally went crazy.  The kids got up and decided to do some crafting this morning.  Now those who know me know I am mostly a free range parent. My kids are welcome to get crafts, toys, snacks, anything really, whenever they want.  That is not to say I don't have any structure, I do. I love routine and order but I want my kids to feel confident in their ability to learn and explore without always asking permission.  
So back to my morning.  They were happily crafting while I was getting a few things cleaned up and ready for the weekend.  We are planning on being gone for about five days and I was busy getting things ready.  Let me say here that we are not on a strict schedule today.  We are heading to my sisters house today but have no strict time frame. She is working and not even planning on us until later today.  That's important to note, so you will see that I was being completely unreasonable later.  Well, after awhile I say to the kids that it's time to start chores.  I mention it nonchalantly and they of course nonchalantly ignore me.  OK no big deal.  I wan't in a hurry.  One child even jokes that they are not going to do chores today and will just make crafts all day.  After a few minutes I walk to the table to really get them moving.  When I say it really is time to clean up, two of them run off, I assume to start doing chores.  We may never know because here is where I became someone else.  I look at the table and there is milk EVERYWHERE!  I mean the table is covered, the bench has spots of milk all over.  There are straws taped together that are a mile long (o.k. an exaggeration), and glue and tape strewn about.  Again, I am really o.k. with messes.  I don't love them but I can deal with them.  I have no idea what changed today.  I went nuts.  I started yelling this is ridiculous over and over like a maniac.  The poor child who was still at the table took the brunt, and I told him to get out of there.  I yelled something along the lines of I will do it myself, everyone loves making messes and letting me do all the work.  I mean seriously I was out here ranting about having no help and how I can't believe this mess.  I don't even know all the things I said.  After  a few minutes of cleaning up, I calmed down and realized what was happening.  Of course I knew my children were all hiding in their beds, no clue about what was going on. Their mother has lost her mind and they are certainly not used to being yelled at, so I am sure I scared them all to death.
So here's where guilt sets in.  I take my time and clean up.  Then calmly approach the room.  By now I'm in tears my kids are in tears and I feel awful that I made everyone cry literally over spilled milk.  How is that for a cliche.  So I gave the speech about how sorry I was and that I was totally wrong for acting that way.  But here is the thing with kids.  The damage is done.  Sure they forgave me, we hugged it out, but that little bit of trust is gone.  I try really hard to stay even tempered with my kids no matter what.  I never want them to feel fear when telling me something. 
I think some might feel I am talking about being a push over or never disciplining.  I am actually quite firm when I mean business and I absolutely have high expectations of how my children should behave and treat others.  And there are consequences for sure.  But never through fear, I want my children to know that even on the hardest days we are in this together and all mistakes will be made right, together, with love.  So today was a huge parenting fail.  Not only did I lose my temper, but over something so stupid and meaningless.  I vowed that I will try harder to never ever let that happen again.  And I really hope it doesn't.  I have a wonderful friend who quite possibly never loses her cool.  She says all the time, Is this worth our relationship.  I tell my kids that all the time when they are fighting.  Is what they want worth ruining their relationship with each other and how can you get your point across while maintaining a loving relationship.  I did not do that today and I will carry that guilt for some time.  That's OK with me because it will help keep me in check.  
Just know that we all lose it sometimes.  We all say things or do things that we regret.  Use that regret and just be a little better tomorrow.  Don't dwell on it, learn from it. 
That's my lesson for today.  And I promise to be better tomorrow.   

Miles of Love,
Stacey

Blogs are better with pictures so here's a cute one of my cute babies.

Hiking Misadventures

We have been enjoying the nice weather and have started taking the kids out on hikes and biking adventures.  Last week we decided to head up to the mountains for a little hike.  We headed up to one of our favorite spots and started down an old closed down road.  We started at the top and headed down hill.  After walking for a short while the kids decided they had had enough.  So we started to turn around.  Brian felt like we were about half way down and decided he could run up and get the car and drive it to the lower lot.  The kids and I could simply head down hill and meet him at the bottom.  Way easier than getting three tired kids to the top.  

We took off, enjoying our walk with songs and stories.  We searched the area for bugs and found pretty little waterfalls.  Soon I realized we were far from where we needed to be.  The girls were getting whiny and I was having to take turns carrying them.  I was pulling all my tricks of motivation to get them to the bottom.  It turns out we had 3 more miles to go when we left Brian.  The road was about 4 miles in all.  Our short little walk was not so short for short little legs.  The kids did great in the end.  Lily was asleep in about 2 minutes after getting in the car.  Oh and if you're wondering, Brian did come up the trail and met us about a half mile from the bottom.  So he was able to help with the carrying from then on.  I'll tell you what though, my calves are so sore.  Who knew downhill was so rough on the body.  Probably a lot of people.  Not me though.  

I think next week we will research our hike a little better.  And bring water with us. And I will probably not let the girls bring their purses.  Lily packed a jar of rocks in her purse and then was kind enough to let me carry it.  Kids! I tell ya!

We had to take a lot of breaks

I overheard Charlie encouraging Lily to keep walking and then I looked over to see him holding her hand.  He really is the best big brother these girls could ask for

The kids thought it was so fun finding snow on a hot sunny day.

We are sure loving this nice weather and can't wait for more adventures.

Miles of Love,

Stacey

Finally Spring!

We made it!  Through winter I mean.  We always seem to go into hibernation in the winter.  We socialize less, we do fewer activities, we stay indoors mostly.  But this winter felt especially bad.  We didn't spend much time with friends, we rarely played outside and we definitely spent way too much time on electronics.  Finally, we are getting some warmer days and starting to play outside again.  It's amazing how much the weather can effect how you feel.  It's so nice to open the windows and enjoy the longer days.  I think this year I was the one who felt the winter blues the most.  I had a hard time staying motivated to get anything done and I really just didn't want to do much of anything.  It's time to get back out there and put friendships back into the forefront.

We are counting the days down till summer.  We can't wait to swim.  There is a pool directly across from us at the park we are staying at.  They are prepping it now and we are all obsessed with watching the progress.  We can't wait for lazy days at the pool. 

We are also getting more serious about finding land to build on.  We are doing on our research for a couple of plots and hoping to make an offer on something soon.  We are all getting excited to build something of our own. 

Recently to get out of the house more, we have taken up roller skating.  I didn't think I would remember how.  Turns out it all comes back to you.  The kids are picking it up rather well and we all love it.  So for now I will leave you with this little video of our last outing to the fun center.  There are also bouncy house stuff there. 
Roller Skating Video

Oh and the kids have been learning to ski.  Kya and Charlie spend most of their time on the big hill with Brian.  Lily is learning to ski with me on the small hill.  She loves it and begs to go all the time.  And I think she is the cutest thing ever when she skis down the hill. 
Lily Learning to ski

Big Kids Learn to Ski

Miles of Love,
Stacey

Electronic Free days

This past weekend we had three electronic free days and it was the best.  I really am so tired of electronics and the effects on my kids.  Amazing how well they play together and how creative they are when there are no electronic distractions.  Here they are making a toy talent show. They played this for days.   

We headed up to the mountains on Saturday.  We love it up there, hence the wanting to live there, so we go up at least once a week.  We told the kids we could go sledding, we were actually wanting to look at some land.  They are so tired of driving around looking at land that we have to do a little manipulating.  We had found 20 acres that we were sure was more than we wanted but still wanted to check it out.  So we headed up there.  Of course when we got there it started to snow super hard and was actually pretty cold.  Not to be deterred we all bundled up, put our snow shoes on, put the kids in sleds and started plodding through this amazing plot of land.  It did stop snowing and with all the walking we were quite warm.  The land was beautiful with trees and a creek.  It isn't for us, but was fun to dream.  It is more than we actually want to take on.  The kids loved running around and being pulled in the sleds.  Lily was super tired so she had a few melt downs, but still managed to have fun. Both of the older kids thought it was fun to jump back and forth across the little creek, and both ended up stepping into the water and filling their boots with ice cold water.  So they were ready to get back to the car after that.  It was so much fun to be out in the snow with the kids.  Everyone had so much fun, even with their wet feet.

The next day we loaded up and headed down to spend time with my sister.  I think my kids would live there if we let them.  My sister would let them, or all of us actually, if we would just agree.  So we spend a lot of time there.  So we got our laundry done and the kids played with there favorite cousin, sorry to all their human cousins. 

Monday was a holiday and we went and saw the Lego Movie 2.  We went back to my sisters and loaded up and headed home.  The kids of course threw a fit and didn't want to leave.  But we got home and everyone was so exhausted from such a fun long weekend.  This is really what life is all about, making memories together.

Lots of Love,

Stacey

A Day Inside

Ever wonder what a day in the trailer really looks like?  Well Saturday was just that.  It was snowy and cold out, and not the nice fluffy snow you can play in.  So we hunkered down and stayed in ALL day.  My biggest problem with this isn't being cramped together in a small space, it's that my kids want to just sit on their tablets all day.  So we decided to work on their Valentine boxes for school.  One of my worries with homeschooling was that my kids would miss out on things like class parties and exchanging Valentines cards.  This was a huge draw back for me, as I know it is for a lot of home school parents.  It seems silly but it really is a factor in the should we home school discussion.  Since we signed up for a co-op this year, my kids go to an activity day once a week.  So this year they were able to participate in a Christmas party and now a Valentines day party.  So it's a win win.  They are so excited.  Kya has asked me a million questions about how it all works.  I love it.  So we worked on their cute boxes.  Charlie made a Pokemon character and Kya's is a collage of stickers.  
I let Lily make one too.  She just wanted to put the stickers on everything but the box.  

Look how cute they turned out

While we worked on the boxes Brian was changing the breaks on the van.  Poor guy ended up working in a snow storm.  He was a trooper and got it done.  They kids liked taunting him from the window.

Lily had seen someone make barbie shoes on YouTube.  They used a hot glue gun and when she saw mine in the craft box, she insisted we try.  So this was our attempt at making barbie shoes.  It took a long time and after I finished them lily told me she hated them.  Kids! No appreciation.  I mean they weren't pretty but they did fit Barbie perfectly.  

Already disappointed before I even start.

We wrapped her feet in plastic wrap and then covered them with hot glue

Barbie seems to like them but they needed color

So we painted them with blue nail polish

And they are done.  They looked more like house slippers than the tennis shoes that Lily had hoped for.

So after a full day of crafting do you wonder what a small RV looks like?  Well let me show you.

Yep, that is totally real life.  I got behind on dishes and there were toys and craft items everywhere.

However when people ask me what I like most about living in a tiny house, my answer is always the same.  The house can go from this to this in less that thirty minutes.

Even the kids are better about helping because they know it's quick.  I spend so much less time cleaning and it makes the messes not feel like a big deal at all.  I have to admit that when it is messy it feels like the walls are caving in.  But just a quick clean up and everything feels much better.  We lived in a three story house before and after a day of crafts and playing, it would have taken me closer to two hours of cleaning to get the house clean again.  So I am always thankful at the end of the day that my time is much better spent now.  

So that is how a day inside goes.  We do a lot of crafting, play dough time, puzzles, really anything to keep us off electronics.  I will be so happy when the sun stays up later and when it's warm enough to go out and play.  

Lots of Love,

Stacey

  

January Update

Wow January really got away from me.  To be honest,  January is always a survival month for us.  It's always a month we all get out of sorts and quite frankly a little unpleasant.  This year of course, it didn't help that we are all living on top of each other.  I think everyone said at least once this month that they were done living in the trailer.  The cold days and early sundowns really get hard when you have no where to get away.  But this last week has seemed better.  The sun is going down later, it has been a little warmer, so we are feeling like we can spend more time outside.  I'm sad I didn't keep up with the blog because this is really what I am using as our family journal.  So I'm going to give a quick update about the last few weeks and then hopefully I will get back on track.  

Big news! The binky is gone! Lily came up to me a couple of weeks ago with a baggie full of her binkies.  She said she wanted the binky fairy to come and bring her an LOL doll.  So she put the binkies outside and the binky fairy wasted no time in taking them away.  She has done amazing.  She hasn't asked for it at all.  The only downside is that she is no longer napping regularly.  This is a kid who used to put herself to bed at nap time.  She loved her naps.  She also takes a little longer to fall asleep at night.  But it gets better everyday and I am glad that I let her decide when it was time to get rid of it because it was so easy and stress free.  

Last moments with her binky.

Totally worth it for the doll

The other big thing we've been doing this past month is lots of skiing.  Charlie had made so much progress over Christmas and we were so excited about that.  Recently though, Kya has also made leaps and bounds.  She is super fast and she even loves to jump as she is heading down the mountain.  She asks to go skiing almost everyday.  She loves it.  Over Christmas we tried to put skis on Lily but she wasn't having it.  But then about a week ago she asked to go.  So we rented her some ski's.  The smallest boots they had were two sizes too small.  We figured it didn't matter because she probably wouldn't last very long.  We headed up the mountain and I thought I would take her out and let her scoot around a little and then we would head inside for some snacks and playtime.  Boy was I wrong.  She picked it up amazingly fast and I spent the day running up and down the magic carpet slope.  She skied for seven hours.  She outlasted Brian and Charlie by more than an hour.  I had to bribe her to take two breaks during the day because I needed it.  I am so glad she loved it.  She also asks to go everyday.  So it looks like I better learn to ski.  

All three of my skiers. 

Lily, Kya and Charlie

After seven hours of skiing, she was asleep before we pulled out of the parking lot.

Some other things we have been up to are field trips to museums, the library, indoor playgrounds, and the airplane museum.  This was Charlie's favorite.  We have been playing games and doing lots of crafts.  Charlie is way into Pokemon lately so we have been learning to play that.  I really don't like that game.  

Doing school work on the train ride home from a field trip

Life in the trailer has been going OK.  Our hot water heater has a switch that is broken, so when we need hot water we have to go outside and hit the switch.  This is a bit annoying since it's cold outside.  Hopefully we get that fixed soon.  The plug outside that our heated water hose is plugged into has shorted twice, leaving our water hose frozen.  So that was fun.  Overall though, we are still fine with living in Millie.  Lily really loves it.  The other two occasionally complain and want to live in a stationary home but then when we look at land and talk about building a house and moving out of Millie, they whine and cry.  So you can't ever go by kids reactions.  

I'm going to try harder to keep up on a more semi-daily basis with the blog.  So if you are enjoying following a long make sure to check back frequently this month to see how we are holding up this month.  

Miles of Love,
Stacey

Dance Surprise

My girls wear dance leotards on a daily basis.  It doesn't matter the weather, you can usually find them twirling around in a tutu.  So you can imagine the excitement when Lily took her first dance class.  Kya has been in this dance class for the last three years.  We go to the community center and they do a little performance in the spring.  It is the perfect balance for us.  Not a ton of pressure, just some fun dance time. It's all Lily has talked about since seeing Kya perform in June.  She was finally old enough to be signed up.
Well the morning started with some excitement.  The girls were up bright and early and ready to go.  Class didn't start until noon.  Trying to get school work done was torturous.  They just wanted to go.  Lily asked me a dozen times if her class was starting. 

Finally the time came, we piled into the car and headed off.  We got there and Lily was bouncing off the walls.  We had to wait a few minutes for the class before us to let out.  Then the door opened and can you guess what Lily said?
"I do NOT want to dance!" She dug in her heals and I had to push her through the door.  She wanted no part of it.  What?! I was seriously at a loss.  It never even crossed my mind that she would freeze up at the last minute.  Lesson learned...Never trust a three year old. 

Kya offered to sit next to her, nope not happening.  I offered to hula hoop with her, no way.  Finally once the class started we scooted over to the circle and she cowered in my lap while I tried doing the moves.  Great, I'm going to be dancing every week.  Doesn't she know this is my time to check my phone, text people back, look up stuff on the internet.  It's why I sign them up for things. I mean come on.  Okay, so I wasn't really upset, but I did want her to join in because I knew later she would regret it.  Honestly, I don't know how it happened. One minute she was hiding in my lap and the next she was up following along.  She tentatively followed the teacher around the room and then let me go back to my seat.  And then this happened...

It turned out to be so much fun.  The girls can't wait for next week.  Kya was such a good big sister.  She is so motherly and helped Lily and was so excited to see her doing a good job.  She takes the class after Lily.  She also did great and was excited to be back in dance class.

A few photos of the dancers.

Miles of Love,

Stacey

2nd Snow Day & Giveaway

We had our second snow day and I am happy to report that it was much more successful.  First of all, we had electricity.  Brian added plastic to the sides of our porch so the snow at the entryway was not quite as bad. 

We felt nice and cozy in the trailer.  So of course a snowy morning called for hot chocolate and pancakes.  Charlie wanted his with sprinkles.  So, why not. 

We ate and watched the snow fall outside. It was actually quite magical. 

We hustled through our school work that morning so that we could get out and play.  The kids refused to get bundled properly and by the time I was done shoveling, they decided that they were too cold, so our snow play was short lived. 

 Charlie took this photo and when I saw it on my phone I couldn't help but smile.  This perfectly encompasses my days.  Kya is always right under foot, following my every step.  Some days, being a mom gets tiring.  I crave the days when I could sit down to eat a meal or go to the bathroom in peace, but I know someday I will wish there was a little one behind me, asking questions incessantly. I really am so thankful for this time I get with my littles. I love that Charlie captured this moment of my little shadow perfectly in step with mine.  Oh how I love her. 

 So while we didn't make it long in the snow, we had a very nice cozy snow day.  Maybe next time I will convince them to wear their snow clothes and we can make it to the sledding hill.

On a side note.... While I sit here typing this, Charlie and his friend are sitting at the table, playing chess and drinking hot cocoa.  The small quarters makes moments like this feel so cozy and perfect.  It's in these moments, that I am so happy we are here.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

O.K. people, now for some fun!  Charlie is dying to do a giveaway. Remember how he is obsessed with You Tube.  Well, they do giveaways and he really wants me to do one.  I told him when we get to 50 followers we will do it.  So your mission? Share, Share and Share! Oh and hit the follow button if you haven't already.  We aren't sharing what the giveaway will be yet, but Charlie came up with it and it is the cutest ever!  So you won't want to miss out!  

Miles of Love,

Stacey