Screen Fast Review

We have officially completed our fast. We actually completed the strict fast a couple of weeks ago and we have added a tiny bit of screen time back into our day.Let me start with how the strict fast went. It went much better than I could have even imagined. The kids never even asked for electronics and they all said they liked doing the fast. They quickly adapted to going outside and finding things to do on their own and not needing me to help them figure out what to do. The benefits that I noticed were anger levels we're down drastically. Our kids were kinder to each other. Defiance was almost completely gone. My kids moods were better, they were happier and calmer. One thing I was hoping is that they would have better sleep habits but unfortunately I didn't really see a change in that. It may have to do with the sun being up later and summer being a hectic time so they're having a harder time falling asleep. Also I was noticing my one child has a few minor ticks. And these did not go away. In the book I had read it said that children with tics will tend to have them less. Since this child's ticks are not dramatic I assume that's why we didn't see a change. 

We have started adding television back in but only one show a day at most. And most days we are still not watching any. So a couple of days ago I decided to let Charlie do some math games on the computer. Of course time got away from me and he was on it for about an hour. And sure enough the next day when he woke up he was in a terrible mood and begging to be on the computer.While I have regretted letting him do that, it was an excellent lesson and just proof that we need to stick to a very strict electronic schedule. Because we do a lot of schooling online I am going to try to put electronics back in but only 15 minutes a day and make sure it is early in the day and not near bedtime. 

I have to say that the first week was so hard and I wasn't sure we would make it.  Week two was slightly better but by week three I was loving it.  So if you are like me and notice your kids need a break from screens, I know you can do it.  I have the worst follow through so really if I can stick to it, so can you.  I am so happy we did it and am really going to do my best to not fall back into old habits.

If you haven't read about our screen fast check that post out here...Screen Time Fast
Miles of Love,
Stacey

Parenting Fail

I was intending to write an update today about how our electronic detox went.  Instead I felt compelled to write a quick blog about one of my biggest parenting blunders.  Maybe it will help others realize we are all in this messy parenting world together.  
Honestly I don't even know what went wrong.  I think I literally went crazy.  The kids got up and decided to do some crafting this morning.  Now those who know me know I am mostly a free range parent. My kids are welcome to get crafts, toys, snacks, anything really, whenever they want.  That is not to say I don't have any structure, I do. I love routine and order but I want my kids to feel confident in their ability to learn and explore without always asking permission.  
So back to my morning.  They were happily crafting while I was getting a few things cleaned up and ready for the weekend.  We are planning on being gone for about five days and I was busy getting things ready.  Let me say here that we are not on a strict schedule today.  We are heading to my sisters house today but have no strict time frame. She is working and not even planning on us until later today.  That's important to note, so you will see that I was being completely unreasonable later.  Well, after awhile I say to the kids that it's time to start chores.  I mention it nonchalantly and they of course nonchalantly ignore me.  OK no big deal.  I wan't in a hurry.  One child even jokes that they are not going to do chores today and will just make crafts all day.  After a few minutes I walk to the table to really get them moving.  When I say it really is time to clean up, two of them run off, I assume to start doing chores.  We may never know because here is where I became someone else.  I look at the table and there is milk EVERYWHERE!  I mean the table is covered, the bench has spots of milk all over.  There are straws taped together that are a mile long (o.k. an exaggeration), and glue and tape strewn about.  Again, I am really o.k. with messes.  I don't love them but I can deal with them.  I have no idea what changed today.  I went nuts.  I started yelling this is ridiculous over and over like a maniac.  The poor child who was still at the table took the brunt, and I told him to get out of there.  I yelled something along the lines of I will do it myself, everyone loves making messes and letting me do all the work.  I mean seriously I was out here ranting about having no help and how I can't believe this mess.  I don't even know all the things I said.  After  a few minutes of cleaning up, I calmed down and realized what was happening.  Of course I knew my children were all hiding in their beds, no clue about what was going on. Their mother has lost her mind and they are certainly not used to being yelled at, so I am sure I scared them all to death.
So here's where guilt sets in.  I take my time and clean up.  Then calmly approach the room.  By now I'm in tears my kids are in tears and I feel awful that I made everyone cry literally over spilled milk.  How is that for a cliche.  So I gave the speech about how sorry I was and that I was totally wrong for acting that way.  But here is the thing with kids.  The damage is done.  Sure they forgave me, we hugged it out, but that little bit of trust is gone.  I try really hard to stay even tempered with my kids no matter what.  I never want them to feel fear when telling me something. 
I think some might feel I am talking about being a push over or never disciplining.  I am actually quite firm when I mean business and I absolutely have high expectations of how my children should behave and treat others.  And there are consequences for sure.  But never through fear, I want my children to know that even on the hardest days we are in this together and all mistakes will be made right, together, with love.  So today was a huge parenting fail.  Not only did I lose my temper, but over something so stupid and meaningless.  I vowed that I will try harder to never ever let that happen again.  And I really hope it doesn't.  I have a wonderful friend who quite possibly never loses her cool.  She says all the time, Is this worth our relationship.  I tell my kids that all the time when they are fighting.  Is what they want worth ruining their relationship with each other and how can you get your point across while maintaining a loving relationship.  I did not do that today and I will carry that guilt for some time.  That's OK with me because it will help keep me in check.  
Just know that we all lose it sometimes.  We all say things or do things that we regret.  Use that regret and just be a little better tomorrow.  Don't dwell on it, learn from it. 
That's my lesson for today.  And I promise to be better tomorrow.   

Miles of Love,
Stacey

Blogs are better with pictures so here's a cute one of my cute babies.

2nd Snow Day & Giveaway

We had our second snow day and I am happy to report that it was much more successful.  First of all, we had electricity.  Brian added plastic to the sides of our porch so the snow at the entryway was not quite as bad. 

We felt nice and cozy in the trailer.  So of course a snowy morning called for hot chocolate and pancakes.  Charlie wanted his with sprinkles.  So, why not. 

We ate and watched the snow fall outside. It was actually quite magical. 

We hustled through our school work that morning so that we could get out and play.  The kids refused to get bundled properly and by the time I was done shoveling, they decided that they were too cold, so our snow play was short lived. 

 Charlie took this photo and when I saw it on my phone I couldn't help but smile.  This perfectly encompasses my days.  Kya is always right under foot, following my every step.  Some days, being a mom gets tiring.  I crave the days when I could sit down to eat a meal or go to the bathroom in peace, but I know someday I will wish there was a little one behind me, asking questions incessantly. I really am so thankful for this time I get with my littles. I love that Charlie captured this moment of my little shadow perfectly in step with mine.  Oh how I love her. 

 So while we didn't make it long in the snow, we had a very nice cozy snow day.  Maybe next time I will convince them to wear their snow clothes and we can make it to the sledding hill.

On a side note.... While I sit here typing this, Charlie and his friend are sitting at the table, playing chess and drinking hot cocoa.  The small quarters makes moments like this feel so cozy and perfect.  It's in these moments, that I am so happy we are here.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

O.K. people, now for some fun!  Charlie is dying to do a giveaway. Remember how he is obsessed with You Tube.  Well, they do giveaways and he really wants me to do one.  I told him when we get to 50 followers we will do it.  So your mission? Share, Share and Share! Oh and hit the follow button if you haven't already.  We aren't sharing what the giveaway will be yet, but Charlie came up with it and it is the cutest ever!  So you won't want to miss out!  

Miles of Love,

Stacey

Parent Talk: Technology

I don't know how many of you out there struggle with the technology balance but we certainly do.  First, I am part of the problem.  I love technology.  I love games, news feeds and mostly weather apps. I check my phone constantly so why do I expect my kids to be any different.  My kids love YouTube.  I mean it is a true obsession for them. They talk about it constantly, they act it out and they even have their own channels.  When we lived in our larger home it wasn't quite as bad.  We aren't even big TV watchers.  My kids refuse to watch movies and the only TV they watch is PBS kids.  So I never really thought we had much of a problem. 

Then we moved into a tiny home.  While we were moving, all rules and time limits on electronics faded away and then while we got settled in I found myself letting all of that continue to slide.  It's terrible.  Here is the thing, electronics really effect my kids behavior.  I mean really bad.  They are more angry, they fight with each other more, they are more defiant and they don't want to do anything else.  So a little over a week ago we started an electronic detox.  I was really good for the first half of the week.  I wasn't letting them have any time at all.  We do a little bit of schoolwork on the computer so I did let them do that, but I sat next to them and did a lot of the interacting with the device.  I really wanted to minimize their interaction with electronics.  Of course though as the days went on I started to give in more.  I am still restricting them greatly, but the last few days I have let them earn a little time.  

I admit whole heartily that I am a major part of the problem.  I home school my kids so I get absolutely no alone time.  It's so hard not to give in just so I can get the dishes done or sit down and eat lunch by myself.  When my kids have zero screen time they are either making huge messes or want my complete attention.  We are trying really hard though to not fall into turning to our deices.  It is definitely harder now that it gets dark shortly after 5:00 and the temperatures have turned colder.  I have found that TV watching has less of an effect on them than the interactive devices.  So we are trying to find shows to watch as a family and that does help.  Another impact too much screen time has caused is that no one can entertain themselves.  My kids complain all the time they are bored and then can not come up with anything to do.  What's strange about that is I have always had a no screens in the car policy.  Unless of course we are road tripping.  However, lately they get in the car for more than five minutes and they think they are dying from boredom.  That has been the biggest red flag that we have fallen into a terrible screen time habit.  

So we are desperately trying to get back on track.  It does take some strategic planning on my part and I have to realize that my time is now basically nonexistent.  So here is what we are doing to get back on track. We tag team parent now more than ever.  We switch off who does bedtime, because yes we still lay with our kids at night.  Brian takes the kids out for daddy time more often.  We do more field trips.  I have a list of ideas for the kids to choose from when they can't think of their own.  

Here are a few ideas I have come up with to help entertain the kids so they don't beg for electronics.  
-We have play dough at the ready at all times
-I bought them each a sketch book and they can color and write in that
-I print out mazes or coloring pages for them to work on
-Lots of library books.
-When I can tell we are breaking down, we all go for a walk or to the park
-I read chapter books to them
-We play trivia games on Google Home
-Games, Games and more Games (Charlie could play board games all day)

Please comment if you have any tips or ideas for this.  We don't have gaming systems and only have one TV.  Our biggest problems are tablets and YouTube watching.  I feel like we used to have a good balance for this, so we just need a little reprogramming to get ourselves out of the habit and hopefully we will be back on track.

Miles of Love,
Stacey

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