Screen Fast Review

We have officially completed our fast. We actually completed the strict fast a couple of weeks ago and we have added a tiny bit of screen time back into our day.Let me start with how the strict fast went. It went much better than I could have even imagined. The kids never even asked for electronics and they all said they liked doing the fast. They quickly adapted to going outside and finding things to do on their own and not needing me to help them figure out what to do. The benefits that I noticed were anger levels we're down drastically. Our kids were kinder to each other. Defiance was almost completely gone. My kids moods were better, they were happier and calmer. One thing I was hoping is that they would have better sleep habits but unfortunately I didn't really see a change in that. It may have to do with the sun being up later and summer being a hectic time so they're having a harder time falling asleep. Also I was noticing my one child has a few minor ticks. And these did not go away. In the book I had read it said that children with tics will tend to have them less. Since this child's ticks are not dramatic I assume that's why we didn't see a change. 

We have started adding television back in but only one show a day at most. And most days we are still not watching any. So a couple of days ago I decided to let Charlie do some math games on the computer. Of course time got away from me and he was on it for about an hour. And sure enough the next day when he woke up he was in a terrible mood and begging to be on the computer.While I have regretted letting him do that, it was an excellent lesson and just proof that we need to stick to a very strict electronic schedule. Because we do a lot of schooling online I am going to try to put electronics back in but only 15 minutes a day and make sure it is early in the day and not near bedtime. 

I have to say that the first week was so hard and I wasn't sure we would make it.  Week two was slightly better but by week three I was loving it.  So if you are like me and notice your kids need a break from screens, I know you can do it.  I have the worst follow through so really if I can stick to it, so can you.  I am so happy we did it and am really going to do my best to not fall back into old habits.

If you haven't read about our screen fast check that post out here...Screen Time Fast
Miles of Love,
Stacey

Parenting Fail

I was intending to write an update today about how our electronic detox went.  Instead I felt compelled to write a quick blog about one of my biggest parenting blunders.  Maybe it will help others realize we are all in this messy parenting world together.  
Honestly I don't even know what went wrong.  I think I literally went crazy.  The kids got up and decided to do some crafting this morning.  Now those who know me know I am mostly a free range parent. My kids are welcome to get crafts, toys, snacks, anything really, whenever they want.  That is not to say I don't have any structure, I do. I love routine and order but I want my kids to feel confident in their ability to learn and explore without always asking permission.  
So back to my morning.  They were happily crafting while I was getting a few things cleaned up and ready for the weekend.  We are planning on being gone for about five days and I was busy getting things ready.  Let me say here that we are not on a strict schedule today.  We are heading to my sisters house today but have no strict time frame. She is working and not even planning on us until later today.  That's important to note, so you will see that I was being completely unreasonable later.  Well, after awhile I say to the kids that it's time to start chores.  I mention it nonchalantly and they of course nonchalantly ignore me.  OK no big deal.  I wan't in a hurry.  One child even jokes that they are not going to do chores today and will just make crafts all day.  After a few minutes I walk to the table to really get them moving.  When I say it really is time to clean up, two of them run off, I assume to start doing chores.  We may never know because here is where I became someone else.  I look at the table and there is milk EVERYWHERE!  I mean the table is covered, the bench has spots of milk all over.  There are straws taped together that are a mile long (o.k. an exaggeration), and glue and tape strewn about.  Again, I am really o.k. with messes.  I don't love them but I can deal with them.  I have no idea what changed today.  I went nuts.  I started yelling this is ridiculous over and over like a maniac.  The poor child who was still at the table took the brunt, and I told him to get out of there.  I yelled something along the lines of I will do it myself, everyone loves making messes and letting me do all the work.  I mean seriously I was out here ranting about having no help and how I can't believe this mess.  I don't even know all the things I said.  After  a few minutes of cleaning up, I calmed down and realized what was happening.  Of course I knew my children were all hiding in their beds, no clue about what was going on. Their mother has lost her mind and they are certainly not used to being yelled at, so I am sure I scared them all to death.
So here's where guilt sets in.  I take my time and clean up.  Then calmly approach the room.  By now I'm in tears my kids are in tears and I feel awful that I made everyone cry literally over spilled milk.  How is that for a cliche.  So I gave the speech about how sorry I was and that I was totally wrong for acting that way.  But here is the thing with kids.  The damage is done.  Sure they forgave me, we hugged it out, but that little bit of trust is gone.  I try really hard to stay even tempered with my kids no matter what.  I never want them to feel fear when telling me something. 
I think some might feel I am talking about being a push over or never disciplining.  I am actually quite firm when I mean business and I absolutely have high expectations of how my children should behave and treat others.  And there are consequences for sure.  But never through fear, I want my children to know that even on the hardest days we are in this together and all mistakes will be made right, together, with love.  So today was a huge parenting fail.  Not only did I lose my temper, but over something so stupid and meaningless.  I vowed that I will try harder to never ever let that happen again.  And I really hope it doesn't.  I have a wonderful friend who quite possibly never loses her cool.  She says all the time, Is this worth our relationship.  I tell my kids that all the time when they are fighting.  Is what they want worth ruining their relationship with each other and how can you get your point across while maintaining a loving relationship.  I did not do that today and I will carry that guilt for some time.  That's OK with me because it will help keep me in check.  
Just know that we all lose it sometimes.  We all say things or do things that we regret.  Use that regret and just be a little better tomorrow.  Don't dwell on it, learn from it. 
That's my lesson for today.  And I promise to be better tomorrow.   

Miles of Love,
Stacey

Blogs are better with pictures so here's a cute one of my cute babies.

Electronic Free days

This past weekend we had three electronic free days and it was the best.  I really am so tired of electronics and the effects on my kids.  Amazing how well they play together and how creative they are when there are no electronic distractions.  Here they are making a toy talent show. They played this for days.   

We headed up to the mountains on Saturday.  We love it up there, hence the wanting to live there, so we go up at least once a week.  We told the kids we could go sledding, we were actually wanting to look at some land.  They are so tired of driving around looking at land that we have to do a little manipulating.  We had found 20 acres that we were sure was more than we wanted but still wanted to check it out.  So we headed up there.  Of course when we got there it started to snow super hard and was actually pretty cold.  Not to be deterred we all bundled up, put our snow shoes on, put the kids in sleds and started plodding through this amazing plot of land.  It did stop snowing and with all the walking we were quite warm.  The land was beautiful with trees and a creek.  It isn't for us, but was fun to dream.  It is more than we actually want to take on.  The kids loved running around and being pulled in the sleds.  Lily was super tired so she had a few melt downs, but still managed to have fun. Both of the older kids thought it was fun to jump back and forth across the little creek, and both ended up stepping into the water and filling their boots with ice cold water.  So they were ready to get back to the car after that.  It was so much fun to be out in the snow with the kids.  Everyone had so much fun, even with their wet feet.

The next day we loaded up and headed down to spend time with my sister.  I think my kids would live there if we let them.  My sister would let them, or all of us actually, if we would just agree.  So we spend a lot of time there.  So we got our laundry done and the kids played with there favorite cousin, sorry to all their human cousins. 

Monday was a holiday and we went and saw the Lego Movie 2.  We went back to my sisters and loaded up and headed home.  The kids of course threw a fit and didn't want to leave.  But we got home and everyone was so exhausted from such a fun long weekend.  This is really what life is all about, making memories together.

Lots of Love,

Stacey