Screen Fast Review

We have officially completed our fast. We actually completed the strict fast a couple of weeks ago and we have added a tiny bit of screen time back into our day.Let me start with how the strict fast went. It went much better than I could have even imagined. The kids never even asked for electronics and they all said they liked doing the fast. They quickly adapted to going outside and finding things to do on their own and not needing me to help them figure out what to do. The benefits that I noticed were anger levels we're down drastically. Our kids were kinder to each other. Defiance was almost completely gone. My kids moods were better, they were happier and calmer. One thing I was hoping is that they would have better sleep habits but unfortunately I didn't really see a change in that. It may have to do with the sun being up later and summer being a hectic time so they're having a harder time falling asleep. Also I was noticing my one child has a few minor ticks. And these did not go away. In the book I had read it said that children with tics will tend to have them less. Since this child's ticks are not dramatic I assume that's why we didn't see a change. 

We have started adding television back in but only one show a day at most. And most days we are still not watching any. So a couple of days ago I decided to let Charlie do some math games on the computer. Of course time got away from me and he was on it for about an hour. And sure enough the next day when he woke up he was in a terrible mood and begging to be on the computer.While I have regretted letting him do that, it was an excellent lesson and just proof that we need to stick to a very strict electronic schedule. Because we do a lot of schooling online I am going to try to put electronics back in but only 15 minutes a day and make sure it is early in the day and not near bedtime. 

I have to say that the first week was so hard and I wasn't sure we would make it.  Week two was slightly better but by week three I was loving it.  So if you are like me and notice your kids need a break from screens, I know you can do it.  I have the worst follow through so really if I can stick to it, so can you.  I am so happy we did it and am really going to do my best to not fall back into old habits.

If you haven't read about our screen fast check that post out here...Screen Time Fast
Miles of Love,
Stacey

Parenting Fail

I was intending to write an update today about how our electronic detox went.  Instead I felt compelled to write a quick blog about one of my biggest parenting blunders.  Maybe it will help others realize we are all in this messy parenting world together.  
Honestly I don't even know what went wrong.  I think I literally went crazy.  The kids got up and decided to do some crafting this morning.  Now those who know me know I am mostly a free range parent. My kids are welcome to get crafts, toys, snacks, anything really, whenever they want.  That is not to say I don't have any structure, I do. I love routine and order but I want my kids to feel confident in their ability to learn and explore without always asking permission.  
So back to my morning.  They were happily crafting while I was getting a few things cleaned up and ready for the weekend.  We are planning on being gone for about five days and I was busy getting things ready.  Let me say here that we are not on a strict schedule today.  We are heading to my sisters house today but have no strict time frame. She is working and not even planning on us until later today.  That's important to note, so you will see that I was being completely unreasonable later.  Well, after awhile I say to the kids that it's time to start chores.  I mention it nonchalantly and they of course nonchalantly ignore me.  OK no big deal.  I wan't in a hurry.  One child even jokes that they are not going to do chores today and will just make crafts all day.  After a few minutes I walk to the table to really get them moving.  When I say it really is time to clean up, two of them run off, I assume to start doing chores.  We may never know because here is where I became someone else.  I look at the table and there is milk EVERYWHERE!  I mean the table is covered, the bench has spots of milk all over.  There are straws taped together that are a mile long (o.k. an exaggeration), and glue and tape strewn about.  Again, I am really o.k. with messes.  I don't love them but I can deal with them.  I have no idea what changed today.  I went nuts.  I started yelling this is ridiculous over and over like a maniac.  The poor child who was still at the table took the brunt, and I told him to get out of there.  I yelled something along the lines of I will do it myself, everyone loves making messes and letting me do all the work.  I mean seriously I was out here ranting about having no help and how I can't believe this mess.  I don't even know all the things I said.  After  a few minutes of cleaning up, I calmed down and realized what was happening.  Of course I knew my children were all hiding in their beds, no clue about what was going on. Their mother has lost her mind and they are certainly not used to being yelled at, so I am sure I scared them all to death.
So here's where guilt sets in.  I take my time and clean up.  Then calmly approach the room.  By now I'm in tears my kids are in tears and I feel awful that I made everyone cry literally over spilled milk.  How is that for a cliche.  So I gave the speech about how sorry I was and that I was totally wrong for acting that way.  But here is the thing with kids.  The damage is done.  Sure they forgave me, we hugged it out, but that little bit of trust is gone.  I try really hard to stay even tempered with my kids no matter what.  I never want them to feel fear when telling me something. 
I think some might feel I am talking about being a push over or never disciplining.  I am actually quite firm when I mean business and I absolutely have high expectations of how my children should behave and treat others.  And there are consequences for sure.  But never through fear, I want my children to know that even on the hardest days we are in this together and all mistakes will be made right, together, with love.  So today was a huge parenting fail.  Not only did I lose my temper, but over something so stupid and meaningless.  I vowed that I will try harder to never ever let that happen again.  And I really hope it doesn't.  I have a wonderful friend who quite possibly never loses her cool.  She says all the time, Is this worth our relationship.  I tell my kids that all the time when they are fighting.  Is what they want worth ruining their relationship with each other and how can you get your point across while maintaining a loving relationship.  I did not do that today and I will carry that guilt for some time.  That's OK with me because it will help keep me in check.  
Just know that we all lose it sometimes.  We all say things or do things that we regret.  Use that regret and just be a little better tomorrow.  Don't dwell on it, learn from it. 
That's my lesson for today.  And I promise to be better tomorrow.   

Miles of Love,
Stacey

Blogs are better with pictures so here's a cute one of my cute babies.

One Week Update!

We have made it a whole week with NO screen time!  Has it been easy? No way!  Am I tired? You betcha!  Is it worth it?  I don't know yet.  
First off we have been so busy.  The Calendar has been key to sticking to it.  The kids are so excited every morning to wake up and see what's on the agenda.  Charlie has especially loved this time.  He says that he prefers no electronics because we do so much more together.  I think it's been hardest on me.  It's embarrassing to admit how much I relied on that down time, but I did.  

 A few highlights from our week: 

Two visits to the children's museum

Fun at the skating rink/ Fun Center

Lego Time at the library

The girls had their dance recital

Charlie gave us an oral report on two bugs he made up.

STEAM night at the library

Another hands on museum

Making bracelets

Bounce house fun center

Stuffy School

I'm not sure I have seen major changes in the kids yet but there have been a few minor things.  The biggest change is they don't complain about leaving the house.  This wasn't even one of the behaviors that I was thinking would change.  It was a nightmare to convince them to go anywhere.  Even if it was something fun for them.  Honestly we had started to give up on going places.  This week though, they have even gone to the grocery store with me, TWICE.  No complaining!  What?! So unexpected and so nice.  
I do think that the defiance and the anger has been less frequent.  The other thing I was curious about improving was a few tics in one of my children.  I'm not sure they are less or not.  They are pretty subtle anyway so it's sort of hard to measure.  I was hoping that their sleep habits would improve a bit.  They aren't terrible but they all take quite awhile to fall asleep and they still wake up in the night about half the time.  I don't think this has changed at all.  I'm still waking up with a kid next to me on most mornings.  
We are only on week one so I know that we still have time for more improvements.  Either way, I know it's better for all of our relationships.  Even if it means I'm exhausted.  Part of the problem is it has rained here almost nonstop.  No outside play is so hard! Also Brian has been gone all week working on remodeling one of our rental properties.  So I have been on my own.  I'm feeling good though and am excited for nicer weather next week.  Looking forward to lots of bike riding and swimming in the pool.

Miles of Love,
Stacey

Screen Time Fast

Tomorrow starts a family electronic fast. I recently read this book.

It was so dead on about what our family needs. For years I have been certain that screen time impacts my kids behavior.  Then I heard about this book and the results from doing an electronic fast.  It clicked for me and I immediately ordered the book. She talks about the effects screen time has on the brain and how it intensifies problem areas. Especially in children already prone to things like anxiety or intense emotions.  It makes tics more frequent and anger more intense.  These are definitely things I have seen.  We deal with big emotions already and I can definitely see how much more intense this child gets when they have had too much screen time. There is so much information on the ways it affects our brains in the book.  These are just the things that we deal with in our home.
So during the fast, the kids will have no electronics at all.  This includes TV and movies.  Also all home devices such as Alexa and Google Home.  The idea behind it is that they need to reset their brains.  Actually, so do Brian and I.  We intend to participate in the fast also.  Obviously I am writing this on a computer so I will be having some electronics.  Brian will still work on an computer at work and we will have our phones for texting and calls.  Other than that, we will put everything away and when the kids are with us we won't have any electronics either.  
Am I nervous you ask?  Yes!  I home-school and I will admit that I use electronic time for rewards and just so I can get things done.  I am nervous that I will have zero down time.  I want to do the fast super strict, so I am also keeping my kids with me at all times.  I don't want them to go to a friends house and sneak some screen time.  So it could certainly be a long three weeks for me.  Brian and I will be giving each other kid breaks and swapping in the evenings. I made a very detailed calendar with lots of fun things to do and to keep us all on track.  

How did my kids take it?  We have talked about it a lot and they almost seemed relieved.  Charlie especially seemed relieved.  I think they know that they want, think and have electronics too much.  It is definitely an addiction.  And I think everyone is excited to shake it.  
When I showed them this calendar, they were super excited to get the week started.  That was the key, make it feel like it's not a punishment.  So we will see what happens when they wake up and reality sets in.  
I will update regularly on here and Youtube.
We made a short introduction video about what we are doing.  Check that out here.
Video Here

Wish us luck!
Stacey

Hiking Misadventures

We have been enjoying the nice weather and have started taking the kids out on hikes and biking adventures.  Last week we decided to head up to the mountains for a little hike.  We headed up to one of our favorite spots and started down an old closed down road.  We started at the top and headed down hill.  After walking for a short while the kids decided they had had enough.  So we started to turn around.  Brian felt like we were about half way down and decided he could run up and get the car and drive it to the lower lot.  The kids and I could simply head down hill and meet him at the bottom.  Way easier than getting three tired kids to the top.  

We took off, enjoying our walk with songs and stories.  We searched the area for bugs and found pretty little waterfalls.  Soon I realized we were far from where we needed to be.  The girls were getting whiny and I was having to take turns carrying them.  I was pulling all my tricks of motivation to get them to the bottom.  It turns out we had 3 more miles to go when we left Brian.  The road was about 4 miles in all.  Our short little walk was not so short for short little legs.  The kids did great in the end.  Lily was asleep in about 2 minutes after getting in the car.  Oh and if you're wondering, Brian did come up the trail and met us about a half mile from the bottom.  So he was able to help with the carrying from then on.  I'll tell you what though, my calves are so sore.  Who knew downhill was so rough on the body.  Probably a lot of people.  Not me though.  

I think next week we will research our hike a little better.  And bring water with us. And I will probably not let the girls bring their purses.  Lily packed a jar of rocks in her purse and then was kind enough to let me carry it.  Kids! I tell ya!

We had to take a lot of breaks

I overheard Charlie encouraging Lily to keep walking and then I looked over to see him holding her hand.  He really is the best big brother these girls could ask for

The kids thought it was so fun finding snow on a hot sunny day.

We are sure loving this nice weather and can't wait for more adventures.

Miles of Love,

Stacey

Baby Animal Days

We decided at the last minute that we were going to go to baby animal days at a local farm.  What a great decision.  It was raining super hard that morning and I was second guessing if we should do it.  But we gathered our umbrellas, layered our clothing and put on our boots.  When we got there the rain was slowing down.  The mud was intense though.  We were covered in mud by the time we were done.  The rain stopped so we jumped on the train. 

 I thought we should hurry through what we could before the rain picked back up.  The farm was nearly empty, we didn't have to wait on anything.  So we rode the wagon ride, we went through the petting zoo and we rode the ponies. 

 By now the weather was getting nicer and we never had anymore rain.  More people came but it never got crazy busy.  We collected candy from the candy cannon and checked out more animals.

Charlie loves to hold animals.  This kid would have a pet of every type.  He loved the baby goat and the little turtles.  Kya loved the baby chicks the most.  She also loves riding horses. Lily was a little more like her mom.  She was timid around the animals and only willing to pet a few.  She did hold a turtle and loved it.  She tried to hold a baby duck but didn't like that is was squirming.  Because we got through everything early on, we were able to ride the train and the ponies again.  The sun was out and it was turning into a beautiful day.  I'm so glad we decided to brave the weather and go.  It was so much fun.  The kids were all exhausted.  

Check out the video of our day over on our YouTube channel. 
Baby Animals
Miles of love,
Stacey

Finally Spring!

We made it!  Through winter I mean.  We always seem to go into hibernation in the winter.  We socialize less, we do fewer activities, we stay indoors mostly.  But this winter felt especially bad.  We didn't spend much time with friends, we rarely played outside and we definitely spent way too much time on electronics.  Finally, we are getting some warmer days and starting to play outside again.  It's amazing how much the weather can effect how you feel.  It's so nice to open the windows and enjoy the longer days.  I think this year I was the one who felt the winter blues the most.  I had a hard time staying motivated to get anything done and I really just didn't want to do much of anything.  It's time to get back out there and put friendships back into the forefront.

We are counting the days down till summer.  We can't wait to swim.  There is a pool directly across from us at the park we are staying at.  They are prepping it now and we are all obsessed with watching the progress.  We can't wait for lazy days at the pool. 

We are also getting more serious about finding land to build on.  We are doing on our research for a couple of plots and hoping to make an offer on something soon.  We are all getting excited to build something of our own. 

Recently to get out of the house more, we have taken up roller skating.  I didn't think I would remember how.  Turns out it all comes back to you.  The kids are picking it up rather well and we all love it.  So for now I will leave you with this little video of our last outing to the fun center.  There are also bouncy house stuff there. 
Roller Skating Video

Oh and the kids have been learning to ski.  Kya and Charlie spend most of their time on the big hill with Brian.  Lily is learning to ski with me on the small hill.  She loves it and begs to go all the time.  And I think she is the cutest thing ever when she skis down the hill. 
Lily Learning to ski

Big Kids Learn to Ski

Miles of Love,
Stacey